Slipping Through The Fences
by Richonne
Summary: Rick and Beth have a secret. Prison era. One-shot.


_**I don't know what possessed**_ me to follow Rick Grimes into the forest. It was outside the safety of the prison fences. I see him going out nearly every night, after midnight, when everyone else in the prison has turned in for the night, or settled into their shifts in the guard tower.

There's talk, sometimes, between Daddy and Daryl, about Rick that I overhear. Our fearless leader says he doesn't see Lori anymore, not since he brought the Woodbury survivors back a couple of weeks ago, but I think he's still looking for her. I think that's why he wanders into the woods; he's still hoping to find her ghost, even though he knows she's not really there.

I slip through the breach in the fences, unhooking the bungees that keep it tied shut, and then hook them closed again. Maggie's in the watchtower tonight and I really hope she doesn't see me sneaking off after Rick. It's a genuine surprise he hasn't picked up on my presence yet. He's focused, but not on what's behind him. If I was a walker I might have been able to sneak up on him.

That thought is frightening enough but I put it aside. Rick goes into the trees until he's reached the edge of a small clearing. The moon isn't very bright but the sky is clear enough to be able to see, even without a flashlight. How will I approach him? How will I tell him that I'm there to initiate a one person intervention to help him put a stop to his search for his dead wife's ghost?

Rick stops and stares up at the sky. He takes in a deep breath of air that's heavily perfumed with the smell of pine and flowers and kudzu. He pulls the summer weight jacket he's wearing off and then reaches around to unbuckle his pants. I assume he's going to pee, and I look politely away, but the sound of a stream doesn't come.

Instead there's a soft, rhythmic slapping sound, and Rick's breathing has picked up pace. I don't have much sexual experience. I've only had sex a few times, with Jimmy, but I know what's happening at once. I can see Rick's left hand making a very specific motion and heat suddenly pools between my legs at the sight of it.

Rick's beating off.

The gasp that escapes me alerts Rick to my presence and he turns, cursing in surprise. He quickly tucks himself back inside his jeans and zips up. I approach him. I have to be honest, I'm not thinking clearly.

Why is it I've never thought of Rick as being a sexual entity? He was married. He has two children. Of course he's had sex. He's a man. He needs sex the same as anyone. He's only human. I think that may be it. I've always seen Rick as being above the regular human standard. He's always been kind of superhuman, the leader, the man who needs nothing but provides everything.

I can't tear my eyes away from his. He's looking at me not only with embarrassment but concern. He probably thinks I'm a virgin. He, like everyone else, thinks I'm some child and they're wrong. I'm not a child. I'm a young woman.

_I'm not a little girl_, I want to tell him. _I know what a man needs_.

The words never leave my lips. I think he knows already. He's backing away from me now. He's shaking his head.

I nod at him, arguing with him without uttering a word.

Rick is still backing away. I'm still advancing. I want to touch him so badly I can't stand it and I know he can see my intentions in my eyes.

He shakes his head and finds the strength to utter one word. "No."

I reach for him. He takes my hands, gripping my wrists harder than he probably intended, but that doesn't stop me from pressing my body against his.

He's hard. He's hard and his breath is as ragged as mine.

I pull my hands from his grip. He staggers back, tripping on a root, a rock, whatever it is that's sticking up out of the ground. He barely catches himself and I reach for him automatically, trying to steady him.

When my hand touches his there's something like a spark between us. It's a physical shock, my warm hand against his cool one. Rick is still shaking his head, staring into my eyes, and despite his wordless protests I reach out and stroke my hand over his hardened length. He closes his eyes. He moans as I continue to stroke him over his jeans. I know he and Lori weren't getting along at the end, for months prior to her death, so I figure he hasn't been touched in almost as long as I have.

And that's how it starts.

* * *

_**The first time I just**_ reach into his jeans and give him a hand job. He comes, hard, and it makes a sticky mess all over my shirt. I don't care. I use the handkerchief he shyly hands me to clean up and then he sticks it in his back pocket, zips up, and starts for the prison without another word. He walks with his back straight and his shoulders stiff, not bothering to ask me to come along. He's willing to leave me there. Hell, I think he's actually trying to run off from me.

Life goes on. Days pass and Rick doesn't as much as look at me. I'm careful to avoid him when I can, though there comes a time when we end up passing one another, him coming from C block, me going in. His eyes meet mine and I know. I just _know_. His anger is gone and I'm sure he's been thinking about what we did. I've been thinking about it all along.

I follow him from the prison again. Tonight Daryl is on lookout duty and it's more difficult to sneak past him. I wear all black and keep an eye on him. He tends to sweep the yard with his gaze, left to right. I only move when he's not facing the yard. Finally I get to the trees, and then to the clearing. Rick stands in the circle of silver light weakly pooling in the light of a quarter moon. I stand beside him and wait for some sort of objection.

Nothing.

This time I pull my shirt off. Rick watches me, his eyes expressing myriad emotions. Guilt, shame, lust. In the end lust wins out. It always would, for both of us. I know that, as he watches me take my bra off. I have to put his hands on me. When I do that they come to life and he strokes the pads of his thumbs across my hardened nipples. I undo Rick's belt and unzip him. He's hard. He gets hard so quickly.

I sink to my knees and stroke him with my mouth. I lick him, I tease him, and I work him until he makes a sticky mess in my mouth. I spit it out. I'm not the swallowing type. I don't think I ever will be. He doesn't seem to mind.

Now that his lust is satisfied, his eyes show only guilt and shame. He waits for me to dress and then I go back first, sneaking across the yard until I'm inside. He doesn't try to sneak back in. He doesn't need to hide his activities from Daryl or anyone else in the prison. He's the leader, after all.

* * *

_**Daddy talks Rick into farming**_ instead of making runs. He's trying to save his son from becoming a monster, like the Governor, or even like Shane had turned into. It's a noble effort and I hope he succeeds.

We're eating lunch when he looks at me. It's not a look I can really explain. I just know it's different from the other looks he gives me. It's a beat too long and a little too warm to be just a friendly glance. That night I put on a black outfit to help me blend into the darkness and sneak past the guard on duty. It's not hard. This is some guy from Woodbury and he's trying, but he's a shit guard. A herd of pink elephants could march through the gates and he probably wouldn't see it.

Once again we're at the clearing. This time the moon is full and bright and Rick looks pale and ghostly. He's beautiful. I'm wondering what he wants. Probably another blowjob. I reach for his belt but this time he stops me. He pulls me into his arms and kisses me. I'm not prepared for the heat in the kiss. I'm expecting it to be a shy, awkward meeting of mouths until he gets used to the idea that we're doing these deeds together, in secret, without uttering a word.

Rather than being awkward Rick is confident. He doesn't take it for granted that I may be an inexperienced kisser. He's seen what I can do with my mouth. Any ideas he's had about me being sweet, virginal Beth, the perpetual child, is long gone. He covers my lips with his. I feel his beard slightly scratching my face. It isn't unpleasant.

Rick lays me down in the grass and works my pants down. He pulls off my top and lavishes soft kisses, that aren't unpleasantly wet, from my throat to my breasts, down the soft skin of my belly. I feel my belly turn to liquid fire as his tongue finds me. I'm not the only one good at going down. Rick's tongue works magic on me and I feel things I didn't know I could. Jimmy had been clumsy, awkward, and completely without experience. Rick is a man and there's nothing clumsy or awkward about the way his tongue slips around my clit, driving me to moan low in my throat. It's a struggle to keep it down. I don't want to attract walkers because then he'll have to stop and kill them. I don't want him to stop until I find release, which I do. It's the most intense orgasm I've ever had without penetration.

I happily reciprocate, once again spitting the sticky mess he makes in my mouth out, and then we dress in silence. The guilt is still in his eyes, but it's not as intense as it used to be. That's good. That's progress.

* * *

_**I'm standing in the prison**_ library when I see Rick standing in the door, watching me, and in his eyes I see it. It's time again. He nods his head once. I nod. It's agreed. We'd meet at our usual place in the forest that night. When midnight is nearly half over I sneak out of the prison, across the yard, knowing Maggie and Glenn are in the watchtower, probably screwing since they're not on post. Good. It'll make things easier.

This time Rick is standing in the clearing, under the light of the moon, pulling his shirt off, smiling at me. I don't know why but it buoys my spirits and I run to him, throwing myself into his arms. Soon we're kissing like newlyweds, groping one another, and falling into the high grass. We shed clothes and I sigh as Rick runs his hands over my body, each gentle stroke stoking the fire in my loins. I've never been naked with Rick. I never got naked with Jimmy. We'd just fuck in the woods with our pants down.

He rolls on a condom. I wrap my legs around him and pull him to me, anxious to feel him inside me. Rick sighs my name when he sinks into me. The feel of him moving inside of me, filling me up and sending ripples of pleasure through me with each thrust, makes me moan uncontrollably. I worry about walkers and yet I can't stop myself from crying out when I come.

Once again, Rick sighs my name, this time as he finds release. "Beth…"

We stand. We dress. Rick puts his hands on his hips, looking at me in that way that he looks at anyone when he's about to give an order. There's no guilt in his eyes this time. There's also no sadness. I realize, in that moment, that he doesn't need what it is we've been doing anymore. At least not with me.

I lament that. I love Rick. I'm not _in_ love with him, but I love him. I loved touching him and being touched by him. I loved the intimacy we shared. I loved the thrill I felt when I would see _that_ look in his eyes. I enjoyed sneaking out and meeting him here. That was all over now. We both know that to continue it would be to ruin what we enjoyed.

I nod at Rick. I acknowledge it. I accept it without forcing him into an argument. He takes my hand and leads me back to the edge of the woods. I sneak back in first and then head up to the prison, undetected, and watch him walk back in, as well. I go into my cell and I lie down to stare at the ceiling. I can feel the ghost of his hands on my body. I can feel the specter of his lips. I can taste him. I'll always remember his taste and the feel of his body moving inside me. I'll always remember what it's like to smell Rick Grimes on my skin.

Drifting to sleep is easier than I thought it would be. It's over. It was good while it lasted but it's definitely over.

I'm okay with that.

* * *

**A/N**: My very first Rick/Beth fic. I love this pairing. I shipped Reth before I shipped Bethyl. I haven't written it until now because I couldn't think up a way to bring them together. Then this inspiration hit me. I think I'll write more of them, as time/inspiration permits. Reviews inspire me to keep writing, so don't be shy to review! :D


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